Headphones
Holy shit!
My headphones just broke.
This is my fifth pair of broken headphones since I got my iPod in January. What!
It's not even like I'm buying the same brand or style of headphones, I try out all kinds of different things every time I have to get a new pair!
Shit sux.
Headphones suck.
1/10

The Killers
They became really popular starting last summer, and coasted on their first album for the entire last year, releasing a new single every three or four months to keep interest up. Brandon Flowers, the frontman, wears too much makeup. But that's forgiveable. Even Green Day wears too much makeup nowaday. Also, his last name is too hippie for someone who isn't actually a hippie. In general I can never remember what songs are called, but with The Killers it's easy because the name of the song is always such a major prominent part of the lyrics. They've had some lame rivalry with The Bravery because they sound similar. Listening to the Bravery actually makes me like the Killers less, and it doesn't make me like the Bravery either. 6/10

Franz Ferdinand
Last summer was the time when Take Me Out came out as well. Franz and the Killers were consistently played together on the radio for the entire summer. Always, one after the other. But after the summer Franz's singles never made it as big as The Killers'. They were just as popular a band, but they got a quarter as much radio time. For most of the year it sort of puzzled me, but it occurs to me that Franz Ferdinand just released a new album, and the Killers are still touring for their debut, so Hot Fuss was probably just being promoted like hell. Franz Ferdinand writes and plays better music than the Killers. 9/10

The Drummer From Franz Ferdinand
Amazingly ugly. Wow!
Really, look at him in this video. He's the third one over. There is nothing else remarkable about him. 4/10

Because that video isn't going to be hosted forever, and also because someone's computer might not have quicktime or something, here's a picture of Franz's drummer: Ugly Drummer

Harold and Kumar Go To Whitecastle
harold: I grew up like this
kumar: and I grew up like this
harold: we grew up differently
kumar: we have different worldviews
harold: my natural inclination to be cooperative is superseded by my inclination to be antagonized when presented with a conflicting worldview.
kumar: as is mine.
harold lunges and punches kumar in the thigh.
I have never seen Harold and Kumar Go To Whitecastle and the above dialogue is unrelated save for the names. I imagine it's probably a pretty funny movie. Then again, my life has not seemed to lack as a direct result of my not seeing it. 5/10

Pierced Eyeglasses
Zomigod! These are about the second coolest thing in the entire universe. Seriously. I actually wish I had flawed vision and needed glasses just so I could get these! They're way cooler than the big chunky Elvis Costello glasses. Cooler than pretty much anything you can put on your face ever! Seriously, I'm tempted to get them and then just have normal glass in them, like those dudes who get fashionable glasses with ordinary glass. Actually, they're not available for public consumption yet, so maybe by the time they are I'll have bad eyes. 9/10

Where The Streets Have No Name
It's the same as I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, except with different words. 3/10

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
Seriously, they're the same. When one comes on the radio I am unable to distinguish between them until the chorus. 3/10

Straw Houses
Very flimsy. Very inexpensive. Likely hard to work with, one of many reasons straw is not widely considered a viable building material. A wolf can easily blow such a house down. Hell, a hungry goat could eat such a house. 3/10

Wooden Houses
The second little pig was a retard. He made his house out of a random bundle of fucking sticks. Firewood essentially. If he'd used some proper lumber the wolf wouldn't have blown his house down with such ease and he'd still be alive today. Ignoring the retarded second pig, houses made from wood are actually quite practical. 8/10

Brick Houses
Upon initial considerations brick seems safe and reliable. This is a falacy. Very unsafe in earthquake conditions. You don't want to be trapped under twenty tons of brick and mortar when the big one hits. Fairly safe from brisk winds and huffing puffing wolves. Have you ever read The Cask of Amontillado by Edgar Allen Poe? This demonstrates the gravest danger of brick and mortar buildings. You never hear about drunks being sealed and left to rot away in the niches of wooden or straw houses. 5/10

Glass Houses
Generally metaphorical. Would be highly impractical in real life. 2/10